Bring on the Rain

I cried when I saw this video!! I saw this on Sharing Life with Lisa's Blog, Click HERE for her blog. What a beautiful video! It is only a few minutes and WORTH watching!! Its called the BRIDGE. Click on the link below!


http://www.maximumreferrals.com/videos/bridge/bridge.html

I am getting to know a new friend online and she mentioned that she couldn't find my life story on my blog. I started thinking that I didn't have one here and that I should make one. Also, God has been SO incredible in my life and I want to share what he has done for me. Ok, got your coffee yet? Here I go.

I was born in 1984 in North California. I was born deaf and I was born into a deaf family. I consider that very lucky since it's rare for there to be a deaf family. It's from a gene called Connexin 26 and two people have to be carriers of that gene to have deaf children. My sister came two years later in 1986. She was born hearing but progressively lost it at the age of two.


We were born on the road. For ten years, my father couldn't stay in one place too long. We moved about every two months. I spent my childhood in the backseat of a car (he couldn't keep the same car for too long either and would trade it constantly). I remember staring out the window and daydreaming about my future. All I did was daydream when I was growing up.



When I was 10, my mom finally had the courage to divorce my father. He was very abusive to all of us. He also admitted he was bisexual and was in love with a man in a wheelchair. The cut off shorts should have been a dead giveaway but what did I know back then? I watched him beat my family for years and even as a girl, I prayed that I'd be big enough to stop him. He was so evil to me. My own father and I never called him "dad."

My mom remarried very quickly to a self employed plumber. He was very nice and I loved him as my stepdad. We never had a chance to grow in our relationship as father/daughter because he was a workaholic and gone all the time. I didn't call him dad either, but he was a good friend.

I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior when I was 10 years old. I was aware of God and sought him out. I wrote a story about that experience in a previous post. Immediately, life changed and God blessed our family abundantly. We finally had a REAL home! I had my very own room! I got to stay in the same school because back then, I went to fourteen different schools. Life was beautiful for the next several years.

When I was 16, I was infatuated with a boy who worked at the local video store. I was terribly shy too and couldn't even bring myself to make eye contact for two years. Finally, my mom locked me out of the car until I wrote down my number to give him when I was 18. He called me that night. We dated for five months and married before he was sent to a Navy bootcamp.


I grew up innocent and wanted to save myself for marriage my entire life. When I met him, I was drawn to the world and I would do anything for him. I compromised myself and upon doing that, I left God in shame. I couldn't bring myself to face God for a long time after that. I also became terribly sick physically and constantly after committing that sin and everything started falling apart when I left God.

The two months that he was gone at bootcamp was terribly difficult for me. I joined him in Great Lakes, Illinois after he got out of bootcamp. Immediately, I noticed that he was a different person and I remember feeling afraid that I had married a stranger. Nevertheless, I ignored it because I was madly in love with him. He grew into a person that was far different than the one I had met. I don't know whether he changed, or if I was simply blinded by love before.

It had gotten worse when I was pregnant with our first child, Landon. The verbal abuse started, the neglect, and he became friends with a bad crowd. He started strangling me, banging my head on the wall and twisting my arm. He left us constantly and would go out all night. He became addicted to the single guy life, started cussing, listening to bad music, going to bars and spending a lot of money. Our family became his ball and chain. It was very difficult for me emotionally because I had no one to confide in. I was completely alone and isolated for three years in Illinois.

I became a ghost of who I was. I was very depressed and felt so alone in the world. My computer broke and I couldn't contact my family and friends. We had no cable tv and barely any furniture. I was stuck inside that tiny base housing with no car, no money and couldn't walk far in the snow. He was the only person I had to talk to and he wasn't around. When he was home, he acted so irritated and annoyed by me. My self esteem went down the toilet.



Finally, he was deployed to California and he stayed in south California while I stayed in North California with my family. He didn't want us to come with him so we'd "miss each other more" if we were apart. Before he left for the south, our relationship was falling apart. I separated from him for a week to make him "wake up" but he left for two days to party with his friends the moment I got home. He spent every waking moment with his friends and I desperately needed us to save our marriage. Divorce seemed to be inevitable.

He left and it would be a long time before I saw him again. I was so depressed. A week after he left, I played with my sister's pregnancy test that was sitting on her sink. I couldn't believe it when it was positive!! I was pregnant with Brady. I called him and he didn't sound thrilled one bit.

He came to visit for a few days in July and left. Financially, it was awful. We were negative 500 dollars every single month. When he left, I didn't hear from him for two weeks and we were negaitve 700 dollars. I was panicked and worried. I started searching for him. I opened bank statements, bills, emails, and everything I could to find him. I had NEVER opened these letters before in our marriage because he insisted on handling it. When I did, it changed me forever.

I kept finding more and more things.. secrets.. and I realized he was leading a double life. He was going to weekend getaways to the beach, he went to places he swore he would never go with women who show themselves sexually, he was emailing his ex girlfriend back and forth saying that we were getting a divorce and that he missed her. I was spiraling into a hole of pain and more pain as I continued finding more information. Hundreds of dollars was being spent for his clothes, dvds, cds, while I couldn't afford rent, diapers and milk at home.

I was a mess. I tried talking to him but he threatened to cut off our conversation and leave if I mentioned any problems. I cried and cried and I thank God for my family who helped us make it during these months financially and emotionally. I didn't hear from him for a month. I ran to a lawyer's office and got divorce papers. I told him I wanted a divorce.

I went to church with my mom and they intervened. They told me to go back and God can save our marriage. I felt inspired and I drove home and tried contacting him. But then at the same time, I noticed a girl on his MySpace profile that posted a happy birthday comment to him. I clicked on her profile and there were pictures, slideshows and all of that of them together in bed, kissing and she wrote "all night long and the morning after." I was in pure shock and I remember shaking so hard and saying "oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

He denied it completely. He came to visit two weeks later for Landon's birthday and he finally admitted it. I was in shock and it felt like I was falling from the sky and hadn't crashed on the floor yet. I had the divorce papers on the table and told him to walk away from it all. I said I forgave him, but we needed to start from scratch all over again and rebuild our marriage from the ground up. He said he could not change and that he was happy. We had breakfast before he left and he looked lustfully at a hostess' rear end. I remember thinking that it would be the last time.

He signed the papers and left. That was it. He emailed me a few weeks later and said he knew we would get back together. At the same time, he was emailing a red haired girl online and giving her his phone number for him to "entertain her." I couldn't sleep until 4 in the morning and told him that I wasn't here to wait for him while he fufilled his lusts, became satisfied and decides to come back at his convience.

The following year and half, I was empty. I felt my heart slowly die and it became a black hole in my chest. I was so pale that people thought I had a terrible illness. I just didn't care about myself anymore. I had to keep going for my two year old and the baby in my belly. I can't explain it except that it's like you're dead but your body is alive.

My mom moved in with me during this time and she was an amazing support. She went through a divorce the same time I did. My stepdad was unfaithful and quickly married our neighbor. We helped each other through the hardest time in our lives. I am forever thankful because she taught me how to be strong.

I gave birth to Brady and it was like a dawn. He was so beautiful and God blessed me with a deaf child. When I was 7 months pregnant, I prayed to God in solitude by the window and said if it was his will, I'd love a deaf child. God answered my prayers. I slowly came back to life after that and tried getting my life together.

I moved here and life got much better. I went to college to finish my degree. God blessed my life incredibly. My ex husband left for 8 months in the military and we had a chance to experience peace. No arguements, no threats, no pain, no war. Just peace. I found this amazing church and grew very close with some members there.

When I felt worthless and ashamed, God reached for me, loved me and pulled me through. He used me even though I was nothing. He changed me, transformed me and he is my WHOLE life! I have been alone with my kids for two and a half years. I am using this time to grow closer to the Lord, to raise my boys in his glory and to find myself again. I'm no longer the same person I was back then, but now I have a chance to get to know myself again. God has given me a new identity and he calls me his own. I am his.

I have to tell you all about this morning!!

First of all, I absolutely dread going to court. It is my least favorite place in the entire world. I'd be so happy if I never went inside a courtroom again in my entire life!

And I've been praying hard for God to allow me to keep Sundays so Landon and Brady can faithfully continue in church. I want to see them grow up in the Lord's house. I want them to be taught in the Word and I want them to learn how to walk with the Lord.

When my ex husband threatened to take Sundays, I felt so despaired. I sought out the Lord in prayer. This morning, I woke up early and drove to the courthouse (a half hour away) and I worshipped the Lord. I sang his songs, repeated verses and just cried out to the Lord. As I neared the courthouse, my hands became very weak that it was shaking. I went in the bathroom and read the Bible (Proverbs 24).

Then, I sat and waited in the mediation office with my interpreter. I still didn't see my ex husband. The mediator said we would wait 15 minutes and then we waited 20 minutes. She finally excused us and officially said he was a 'no show.'

Wow, I marveled at the Lord. I have no idea what his reason is but this is a miracle! I rejoice in the victory that the Lord has given me! I haven't won the entire battle but this will surely help me! I drove all the way home screaming in joy at the top of my lungs and praising God until my voice was gone. Praise his name! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Thank you for your prayers!!!

I have been struggling with a heavy burden in my soul to the point that I feel depressed. This is so strange to me how affected I have been and I am not even sure what the cause is! I just felt so heavy in my soul. I noticed that several of my good friends have been struggling with the same thing.

Last night, I sought out the Lord and asked him the reason why this was happening. Suddendly, words formed in my mind without me thinking of these things and it made sense. I believe the answer from the Lord is that I was given a glimpse of God's pain for someone and he has given me the burden to pray for someone in particular. I finally understood and then my heaviness was lifted as soon as I prayed for this person. I will continue to do so for the Lord.

The Bible commands us to pray for our enemies and to love them. That is a hard challenge and it requires a heart transformation. The Lord is able to do this when we are willing and seek his help in this matter.


You have heard that it was said, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:43-44).

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28).



Are you facing persecution from someone? Pray for them.

As for me, I feel ashamed that the Lord had to drag me over to pray for this person. I have been terribly stubborn about it. I will change this now.

My good friend Mike (his BLOG here) and I were having a fascinating discussion about Revelations 17. A lot of it is symbolized but if we read this entirely, it isn't very difficult to understand. The Bible explains what each symbol means and I believe these times are at our doorstep. Please take the time to read this and feel free to add anything you wish to this discussion!

And keep in mind, these are just possibilities.


Revelations 17, KJV Bible:

1And there came one of the seven angels which had the seven vials, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters: (Many Waters is defined clearly in verse 15)

2With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication.

The Catholic Church has been in power for many, many years and even had power above Kings. If you look in the history, the Pope actually had higher power than the King. This is still continued to this very day.

3So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.
4And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication:

Their clothing is SCARLET AND PURPLE! They are known for their jewels, gold and riches.




And the Golden Cup is all over the place!



5And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
6And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.

It is reported that 50 million Christians were martyred for their faith and persecuted by the Catholic Church. They called it the Dark Ages when the Catholics were in rule.



7And the angel said unto me, Wherefore didst thou marvel? I will tell thee the mystery of the woman, and of the beast that carrieth her, which hath the seven heads and ten horns.
8The beast that thou sawest was, and is not; and shall ascend out of the bottomless pit, and go into perdition: and they that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names were not written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, when they behold the beast that was, and is not, and yet is.
9And here is the mind which hath wisdom. The seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sitteth.

The Vatican rests on a place called "The Seven Hills" in Rome. That's kinda obvious, isn't it?

10And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is, and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a short space.
11And the beast that was, and is not, even he is the eighth, and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition.

Pope Benedict, our current Pope is the 7th. He is already 80 years old and his health is failing. The Bible says the seventh King will only be in rule for a short time and then the eighth will arrive and take over, bringing damnation and chaos with him (perdition). I'd watch this if I were you.



12And the ten horns which thou sawest are ten kings, which have received no kingdom as yet; but receive power as kings one hour with the beast.
13These have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the beast.

There will be ten kings that are given power and kingdoms to rule over within an hour with the Beast. They all are like minded and subject unto the Antichrist.

14These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful.
15And he saith unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues.

How many nations, peoples and cultures call themselves Catholic and worship in these churches?

16And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore, and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh, and burn her with fire.

This church will be hated and destroyed after the beast comes into power and the ten kings have their kingdoms.

17For God hath put in their hearts to fulfill his will, and to agree, and give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled.

The Beast will be in supreme power over the 10 nations.




18And the woman which thou sawest is that great city, which reigneth over the kings of the earth

And the whore is a great city which has power over kings. I believe this is the Vatican in Rome.



More information in this link, CLICK HERE.

And this woman writes amazing things and backs it up with scripture! CLICK HERE!

My mom found these pictures for me online, yay! I had a great opportunity to perform the song "Carry the Light" in sign language for my church this year. I have been performing songs since I was eleven years old and it is one of my greatest passions. Just to be able to use my hands to praise the Lord in silent music is an honor. I hope to be asked to perform again!

A candy maker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would testify of Jesus so he created the candy cane. He incorporated different meanings inside one candy cane. Here are some things and I bet you'll never look at a candy cane the same way again!

*He created the J shape for Jesus. Some say that it's shaped like the staff because Jesus is the Good Shepherd.

*The red represents the blood that he shed for us.

*The white represents the purity of his virgin birth and that his blood washes us white as snow.

*He is our rock, and the candy is a HARD candy.

"And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock" 1 Corinthians 10:4

*The stripes symbolize the flogging that Jesus received prior to his death.

*The smell and taste of peppermint relate to the herb hyssop.

Psalm 51:7 writes "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow."

*The candy is meant to be shared and broken into pieces for others to share as well in the illustration that Christ broke his body for us all.

Hi everyone,

I made a big change this year! It started by me growing in my walk with God and walking with the Lord is guarateeed to make your heart softer and more tender gradually. I also noticed a 'falling away' in my own personal walk with God. The more closer I drew to him, the more I started to shed away things that would offend God and be a hinderance.

I have always heard a little here and there about Christmas being a Pagan holiday. Back then, I had chosen to play the ignorance card. If I didn't learn about it, then I couldn't be held accountable for it. Who would want to stop any fun festivities of Christmas? Pfft.

But the Lord opened the eyes of my heart and he showed me a Bible verse:

"Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:

Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." Jeremiah 10:2-4

I found that one and I started looking through Deutronomy. Suddenly, this other one appeared to me as well. It is about not placing any trees near the altar of the Lord. Jessica pointed out that many churches have Christmas trees near or upon the Altar.

"Thou shalt not plant thee a grove of any trees near unto the altar of the LORD thy God, which thou shalt make thee." Deuteronomy 16:21

I wrote a devotional about it called "Merry Paganism" at AgMinistries.org and it explains the history of Christmas and how it all started with Nimrod and his mother, Semiramis. This has been a practice of Paganism since the days of Noah. The Lord abhors it and even told us to destroy their groves.

Multiple times in the Bible, groves are mentioned and God tells us they are to be destroyed. This is one example:

"And ye shall overthrow their altars, and break their pillars, and burn their groves with fire; and ye shall hew down the graven images of their gods, and destroy the names of them out of that place." Deuteronomy 12:3


And if you search for the word "grove" and "altar" in the Bible search engine, you shall find multiple references to Baal. Baal worshipping was started by Nimrod and his mother and it continues to this very day. It is a false religion that strongly resembles Christianity but it is a fraud!

"And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and forgat the LORD their God, and served Baalim and the groves." Judges 3:7



"For he built up again the high places which Hezekiah his father had destroyed; and he reared up altars for Baal, and made a grove, as did Ahab king of Israel; and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served them." 2 Kings 21:3

I threw out my Christmas tree a couple of days ago. I also threw out anything that had evergreen leaves on it. I kept the lights because I have them all year long because deaf people love something that plays with their eyes. And Santa, Christmas trees, evergreen leaves, himmeli shapes, angels of light and these sorts are out of my house. I am going to take this time to teach my children the story of Christ's birth and put their focus on glorifying our God alone. I am thinking of creative ways and starting new traditions to make this a very special time of the year for our family and departing from the worldly traditions of men and lucifier himself.



Remember to stand strong and not to be enticed by the 'Angel of Light' himself. He dazzles, lures and draws us in as hard as he can. Remember the true light, the one of Jesus Christ. He was born in a humble manger in a poor barn for animals. His way is humble and the Christmas world we see today is far from it.

Many people will say that Christmas is a Christian holiday, but we've crossed an X on Christ's name in "x-mas," we make Santa, Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman bigger than Jesus and Christmas is more about spending money and buying gifts than embracing the joy we have in Christ. We've left him out of Christmas just about completely. It has all been a part of satan's agenda this entire time.


I understand that this is a hard saying and many will not accept this, but let us seek God and draw near him. Let his ways become ours. Let us not partake in anything that would offend him. Let us have a willing and obedient spirit. It's a blessing to serve the Lord and walk in the way that delights him! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

I found an interesting link, click HERE for more info.

(p.s. Interesting fact is that Joseph smith was visited by two "angels" in a sacred grove. I wonder which angels they were since sacred groves are pagan sites of worship to satan.)