I remember New Year's Eve last year. I was in the middle of a hard divorce. Brady was still inside my belly. I could barely hold myself together and slept early that night. When I woke up, it was January 1, 2007. Something felt different. Sunlight streamed in from the window on what was supposed to be a cold January morning. That was the first day I ever felt peace and hope that everything will be allright. God quietly ushered into my heart and reassured me he would take care of everything.
Brady was born on January 12. It was an emergency induction because he had two cords wrapped around his neck and his heart was dropping. It seemed that God was on top of making sure he came out safely. We had a close call that I wouldn't be able to get him out in time, and if I had accepted the epidural (which was so tempting, believe me) then it would have prolonged the labor. The nurse explained it to me afterwards and said the epidural would not have let him come out in time. Thank you lord.
We found out Brady was deaf. I was actually overjoyed. I know people don't understand, but my son has my ears. When I was 7 months pregnant, I asked God if it was his will, I would love to have a deaf child. He answered my prayer.
In Spring, my mom had a heart attack. It was the only night I wasn't there. I came home and she was missing. I was terribly worried. She came home from the hospital late that night. The doctors diagnosed her with myocardial infarction and said she was in high risk for another attack within 45 days. She had to return to the hospital for more testing. She said she accepted God's will if he was ready to take her home. We prayed and prayed. The nurse looked at her baffled and said her heart is fine now and that it didn't make any sense.
We decided to move because they had better doctors who accepted our medical insurance. I also wanted to go to college. We searched without any luck for a place to live. Suddenly, I came across a rental listing and it was a house. It was a newly remodeled house with four bedrooms, a back and front yard in a very nice neighborhood. It was just one listing that I had on a long list of possible places and it was a hopeless one because I have no credit history. My mother has bad credit from her divorce. It was a one in a million chance to get that house but I decided to try anyways. Right before we met with the landlord, we all prayed together. Even Landon said, "Please Jesus. House." We met the landlord and before we ever gave him our application, he handed us the key and said the place was ours. What? Impossible. He gave it to us without ever looking at a piece of paper or knowing our names. Praise the lord. We love our home and it was the first place that we felt was a real home in years.
We found a wonderful church. They have interpreters for us. They follow the KJV bible. The church people have welcomed us into their homes and lives and they are our church family. I started faithfully paying tithe and I recommend it strongly to everyone because it really works. Our finances doubled and we have had so many blessings falling right out of the sky.
I started college this year and it was so strange going back to school after so long. I thanked the lord for this chance because I finally have my dream in front of me again when I thought it was gone forever. I felt like I came back to life this summer.
I still had the biggest thing in my life to worry about. Custody for my children. I prayed and prayed for a year that God would let my children have a home with me. Suddenly, I recieved a letter from my ex husband's lawyer that he wanted to fight for physical custody. I felt gravely sick and I was pale over it. It was the worst feeling going through this experience. I counted on the lord more than ever and asked my close friends and family to pray for us. That night before the court date, I prayed so hard that I lost my voice.
The next morning, my mother and I were driving to the court house. Suddenly, we both were smiling from ear to ear. We looked at each other and thought, what is wrong with us? I felt this surge of peace in my heart and it felt like I had already won. It didn't make ANY sense!! We kept grinning in the court room even though my stomach was in a thousand knots and I thought I was going to throw up! I tried my hardest in court and spoke from my heart. Courts favor joint custody nowdays, and it didn't seem like it was going my way. We sat in the room in front of the judge waiting for him to make his final declaration. I signed "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" with my hands under the table. I knew he would never fail me. Not when I needed him the most. The judge spoke so fast and I missed what he said. My lawyer and my interpreter smiled broadly and said I won! I won! I won! What?! I won?? It was God. If you were there, you'd know it was God!! I felt like I could fly after that. My heart finally had wings.
I met with a counselor at my college and she grabbed a paper and told me I could get an AA degree if I signed it. I didn't plan on getting one, but ok!! lol. Then I had an "On the Spot" appointment with the university I was applying to the next day. I was nervous because this was my dream for years to make it. The girl who went first ran out the door in tears and slammed the door. I thought, "oh God, be with me." I met with the lady and she did some paperwork for several long minutes. I sat anxiously while she did her work. She looked up at me, smiled and said welcome to our university. Ahhh!!
Our old car kept breaking down everywhere we went. What a pain. It would take as long as two hours just to start it up. It went on for several months and it was stressful because I had no other car and couldn't afford to fix it. I prayed for a good, reliable car and I prayed particularly for a car with plenty of room so I could take people to church. I also prayed for an affordable one around 5,000 dollars if possible. One day, our car broke down in the church parking lot. Groan. A kind man named Kirk came and tried to help us start it. He said he had a good mechanic friend who could help us with it and he insisted on covering the cost. He let us borrow his car. My mom drove it home and noticed a "for sale" sign in the back. It was a Chevy Suburban with an extra row of seats in the back. It was for 5,000 dollars. We both looked at each other and couldn't believe it. The owners said they were just about to post it in the newspaper but they wanted us to have it. God answered our prayers to the dot!
This year, I realized more than ever before how much I truly need God and how much he does take care of us. I had to turn my life into his direction and live for him and try to grow spirtually as a Christian. I want to serve him faithfully and raise both Landon and Brady by him. I promised God in front of the whole church congregation in November and dedicated my children to him. I know God will watch over them no matter what happens.
2007 was a gift to me from God.
I want 2008 to be my gift to God.
Psalm 115: 18
But we will bless the LORD from this time forth and for evermore. Praise the LORD.