First, I wanted to make sure that I explained what I felt when I wrote "No Greater Joy." Sometimes I have this great burst of love for my children! I adore them so much! But, there is a greater love. God. If I seek God first, he will take care of my children for me. I believe that only through him, I can successfully raise two amazing boys. God is so good and I am just so blessed that he gave me the gift of having two children.
I also wanted to tell you that there will be a change. I am moving to a new apartment tomorrow since my financial life is changing. I am making living more affordable. I won't be having a computer with me when I go. It will save me a lot of money, and it will allow me to have more time to enjoy being with my children. I think it is for the best!
I will check the computer when I visit my mother's home. I will write devotions before I go to check her computer. I enjoy it SO much and I don't want to lose that. I hope that from all of this, we will only gain more from it, even though we may lose more things. Does that make sense? hah.
I hope you all keep in touch! I cherish you all as my friends that are dear to my heart!
When you speak to me, Lord
When you speak to me, Lord
When you speak to me, Lord
by Charlene, August 13, 2008
Labels: Poetry and Songs
I went to the Wednesday evening service at my church tonight. The sermon that the pastor preached tonight spoke to the innermost parts of my heart. My heart overflows. He shared with us this verse and it only shows how much God understands my heart and my longings.
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4.
I kept trying to hold back my tears during the service. It was a revelation and my heart was so filled. I realized that my greatest passion in my life are my two boys, Landon and Brady. I have never experienced this volume and depth of love for anything else in my life. I absolutely love and adore my beautiful boys. I am in tears as I write this.
God, maybe being a wife wasn't something I was destined for. Maybe not now, or maybe never. And that's okay. You destined me to become a mother. Landon and Brady were meant to be. You chose me to be their mother and that is the greatest role that anyone can have on Earth. I am SO blessed! I want to invest ALL I have in them. And I will.
When I think about my life and what I would consider to be the greatest achievement of my life. I would say that there would be only one thing that would bring me so much joy, so much purpose and so much triumph and that is for Landon and Brady to walk in the truth. Oh, I'd give it all up. I'd give up all the fancy houses, all the fast cars, all the money in the world, all the college degrees and everything I ever had just for that.
And in making this commitment, I am literally throwing everything that is in my way, OUT. I am throwing out the television. I am throwing out the computer. I am throwing out anything that can be in the way of raising my kids. I am investing all the time I have, all the precious, precious time that I have to raise my boys. I am going to make the most out of the time that I have.
Like the story of the merchant from far away who found a great pearl. He sold everything he had to buy this one great pearl. God gave me two shining, brilliant, amazing pearls. To me, they are worth it all.
This is the greatest desire of my heart. I am weeping as I write this. Oh Lord, thank you for letting me see this opportunity and to feel this blazing in my heart. When you speak to me Lord, my heart blazes with fire from above. Praise the Lord, God Almighty.
The valuable lesson that I learned is that the moment we step aside and hand over the reins to God, he takes over and he takes care of you. Right then and there. Just right when you need him at exactly the right time. Sorry God, I know you have been waiting for that chance to make my everything okay.
I wrote this song while I was driving the other day.
Have your way Lord,
Have you way.
Have your way with my heart.
Have your way with my will.
Have your way with my life.
I give it all to you.
Whenever the world throws you a curve ball that you just can't seem to hit, remember.. he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. I am just a poor klutz that can't swing a bat the right way. Why keep trying to hit that ball on your own? God is like Babe Ruth. Let him inside you and he will use you to do amazing, unbelievable things! That ball has no chance when God is the batter!
Aren't you glad you're on the winning team??!
For the past month, I have been frantically searching for an affordable place to live. My financial situation is about to drop significantly this August and I have been downsizing everything I possibly can. I am not letting myself be upset or angry that I have to lose this beautiful home. We have an amazing four bedroom house with a huge yard in a very friendly neighborhood. I just want to thank God for giving me and the kids a whole year to enjoy this blessing! I didn't deserve this beautiful home at all and God allowed me to enjoy this with my family.
When I found out about the income change, I started to worry heavily. I admit it is my biggest flaw. I worry the life out of myself. I spent an entire month applying to apartment after apartment. It was either too expensive, had a long waiting list or in a bad area. The closer the deadline was, the more frantic and stressed I became. Then, I became convicted by a sermon in church this last Sunday. I knew God was speaking to my heart. My Pastor preached this verse, :
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. " Matthew 6:33.
I realized that I needed to seek God first, the things above and his righteousness. My mind was on all the other things too much. I would spend every waking moment restlessly worrying about all the details of the things I had to deal with in my life. Well, that didn't leave much room for me to think about God. Do we just squeeze in our thoughts of God in the pile of stuff in our heads? It should be the other way around.
I prayed about this and decided to leave it all up to God and let him handle my worries for me. Almost immediately, I could feel the difference. The past several days have been peaceful in spite of the situation I was in. Just today, something miraculous happend! I turned in an application to a nice apartment and my mom turned it in the same time. We got approved within two hours and not only that, but the manager got us an apartment where we can live above and below each other! My mom will be living in the apartment upstairs while I am in the apartment downstairs! That is amazing! Landon was so excited when he saw the swimming pool and the little playground!
I was like.. "Wow, this doesn't just happen. Thank YOU God!"
And I also realized that I wasted all my time and energy worrying. Life is great when God is in control!!
Thank you God for this time to enjoy a home <3
Here is a video you can check out that gives you instructions on how to achieve this look!