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Excited :)

Ever since I made that decision to turn over my life to God all the way, I really do feel led by him. I notice God is working in my life. He is putting things in my life and telling me to serve him this way. He is taking out other things in my life that were not good for me spirtually. He is bringing me to Godly people and I am making friends with them. The people who were not good for me to be around have suddenly left me alone. I can see that he is forming my life in his hands and changing everything around. I am so thankful for that! My desire for God to do this is huge!

God heavily impressed on my heart to be a stay at home mother and I felt honored to follow his command. God sent me wonderful Christian friends who have helped me grow spirtually. I was asked to write in a devotional blog for women and that was a huge honor for me. I am seeking God daily and asking him to lead me on what I should write about. I got emails recently from several people who were impacted by what I wrote in a positive way and it is thrilling! I also want to use my hands and sign songs of praise to God. I am just so thrilled and excited to be led by God and this is the first time in my life that it is happening to me. I am honored to serve my King. I can't even put it in words! All of it is because of this conscious decision that I made to give everything to God and let him take the reins. No more living my life in my own way and MAN, I wasted all those years too!


This is one of my favorite music videos with my favorite love song. The song is "At Last" by Etta James. The movie is "Funny Face" with Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire.

Warning of a False Religion

This is a horrible tragedy to hear about Oprah declaring a new age religion. Millions of her fans have followed her into her new church.

The deceiving lies of Satan tells us that there are many ways to Heaven and that Jesus is not the only way to Heaven.

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. " John 14:6

Not "a" way, but "the" way. No one goes unto the father but by Jesus alone.

If there are other ways to Heaven, then why did Jesus die on the cross? God left Heaven, came to Earth as a man and took our place for the penalty of our sins. He died a horrible death for us. When Jesus was praying in the garden a few hours before the guards came to capture him, he asked if the cup would pass from him. If there was ANY other way that we could go to Heaven then he would have taken it. But there wasn't any other way. Jesus had to die on the cross for us to be saved and that was the ONLY way.

We are NOT god. There is only one God and no other God beside him.

"I am the LORD, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me" Isaiah 45:5

We are not to worship any other Gods or assume we are god.

"Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you" Deutronomy 6:14

"Take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside, and serve other gods, and worship them" Deutronomy 11:16

We are not holy. We are all sinners. It is because of God's love and his gift to us that we are saved, not by what we do to "earn" our way to Heaven.

" For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

The Bible has predicted that there will be a coming of a false religion that decieves the world. Revelations chapter 17 describes a great whore which signifies a "one world" religion mixed with different gods and different ways to heaven. Many countries and tribes will follow this religion and go against Christians.

Be on guard and keep watch for our master is coming!

"Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come." Matthew 24:42

(Matthew chapter 24 describes the end times if you wish to know more)

Thank you to SisterLisa for telling me about Oprah's new false religion. I had NO idea!

♥ The Notebook ♥

My dear, dear sister bought me the movie "The Notebook" as a graduation present this Friday. She got sick of how much I kept talking about it. Finally I own my favorite movie!! It never fails to bring me to tears. I wanted to add this music video and share it with all the Notebook lovers like myself!

It is Finished!

I finally graduated on May 23rd, 2008. My two little boys came to root for me! My family and my wonderful friends came as well! It was a great memory that I will always keep. It was also raining during the entire ceremony. The skies were majestic. I feel so relieved it is FINISHED!!

The Miracle of Having a Deaf Child

Deafness is genetic in my family. For every child I have, there is a 65 percent chance that my child will be deaf. It is higher if the father of my child is a carrier of the deaf gene as well.

When I was seven months pregnant, I was laying in bed by the window. I prayed to God that if his will allowed it, I would love to have a deaf child. When Brady was born, I held him in my arms on the hospital bed. He curled up and fell asleep against my chest. The intercom came on and it was very loud. My mom and I were startled but Brady didn't flinch. My mom and I quickly looked at each other as if we realized the possibility that he was deaf. When Brady failed the hearing test at the hospital four times, we knew it was true.

Brady's pediatrician audiologist tested his brain's response to sound. Brady was diagnosed with hearing loss but he will be able to hear well enough to listen to the radio and hear the phone when he gets older. That's much more than I am able to do.

Ever since he was three days old, he would stare at me from across the room and watch me. Wherever we went, he would watch me from his carseat. It's amazing how we can connect with visuals. Brady always stares at me and mimics my facial expressions. He likes to wiggle his eyebrows, move his tongue from side to side, shrug his shoulders and we have several games that we play where he copies whatever I do and I'll copy what he does. We have so much fun!

It is also so fascinating to see how similar and how different Landon and Brady have come to be. They have different personalities and traits, but one thing is for certain and that is their beautiful bond. Landon quickly runs to protect Brady and they constantly hug and wrestle together. I will walk into a room and see them laughing together. It wells me up with emotion to see them cherish each other and that is so important to me!

Whenever I tell people that my son is deaf, they quickly reply with "oh no, I am sorry." I will tell them that we are happy about that and usually I will see a puzzled expression on their faces. I know it is bizarre that a mother could be happy that her son is deaf. That's because I view it differently than others do.

It is not a disability, but a culture that I am passing down to my son. It has been in our family for generations. We have our own language, our own history, traditions, and even pride. When I look at my son, I know that we will be able to share an understanding. I will never teach him that he has something to be sorry about for being born deaf. Brady will grow up and know that he is God's gift to me and a HUGE blessing! He is an answered prayer.

God chose us to become deaf for a reason. It is written in the Bible in Exodus 4:11:

"And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?"

I am incredibly lucky to have two beautiful boys. I will raise them both the same. They both will learn how to speak and how to sign. I love them equally and I will cherish their beautiful uniqueness. I am so PROUD of them both!!

Three Generations of Deafness in this Photo!!

Beauty in God's Eyes

I listened to a great sermon at my church on Sunday night. The pastor read from 1st Samuel, 16:7,

"But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart."

God sent Samuel to find the future King in one of Jesse's children. Jesse had many sons and they were big, strong and looked like potential kings. God chose David who was Jesse's youngest son that was watching the sheep in the wilderness. He did not look the part of King, but God knew his heart.

To God, it is what is on the inside that matters, but we must also ask how can people know if we are Christians if we don't look the part? The world judges us on how we appear on the outside. So it is also important to look the part of a Godly person so that we may set the example for others.

I am trying to dress more appropriately. I went in my closet yesterday and threw out my low cut shirts and my tight pants. My good friend who is a wonderful example to me, taught me that a Godly woman shouldn't hinder a man's eyesights by exposing her body.

But that also doesn't mean that you have to dress to look plain! We can appreciate beauty and obey the Lord at the same time! I also noticed that ever since I started wearing skirts and dresses, men would rush to open the door for me everywhere I went! That never happend when I wore jeans. I am being recognized as a lady. (Cool!)

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. " Proverbs 31:30

Holding Flowers Lovee

New Logo!

I designed a new Logo for my Blog! That way I can easily access it from my usual sites!

Hey Sunshine!

I have exciting news to share!! I got in touch with the lady who works at the county school district and she is sending me an application to be a substitute teacher aide for the deaf! She says that I meet their qualifications. It will also give me a lot of time to be home with my children and to earn that extra income to pay for Landon's schooling! I am psyched!!

Also for that extra, extra moolah, I am thinking about making jewerlies at home and selling them online! It'll be a fun project to do!

And thank you SO much for your reassurance and support. I feel so much better than yesterday. I feel like the sun is rising and God is here to take care of everything. He also blessed me with wonderful friends!!


LOVE, Charlene _\m/

The Dam Broke

I cried all morning. I feel like the dam broke. I just realized that I am the one that has been pretending that nothing has happend. I didn't want to feel the pain. I thought if I ignored it, then it would go away, but it didn't. I never forgave him all this time. I said I did, but I really didn't. I have been so angry and hurt all this time. I buried my feelings inside and I didn't allow myself to cry during this entire divorce! I finally did for the first time today. I was cleaning the house and talking to God, and then God pushed my heart and the dam broke. It's good to cry. I am finally letting it all out. I want him to know, wherever he is, that I forgive him.

First Rain

Forgiveness @;-->----

Forgiveness. If we say we forgive someone, is that all it takes? I forgive him then. But everytime I see him, I literally want to vomit. My stomach wrings up and I feel sick. Everytime I get his email, I have to walk around the house and take deep breaths. I get anxiety and stress whenever he pops up in my life. My life is beautiful and happy, but it turns upside down anytime he appears. I can't believe I allowed this person to have so much power in my life.

I never had closure. I was never able to get it all off my chest and to say goodbye. He didn't give me a chance to do that. Instead, I swallowed it, buried it and resentment has been gnawing inside of me ever since. It was hard for me to sleep at night because I would vent at him in my mind. I would have nightmares about him. I realize that I am still so angry at him. He hasn't acknowledged what he did and how he hurt me so badly. He just pretends it never happened.

It shouldn't matter what he does or how he thinks. I shouldn't let it affect me anymore. I need God to come in and take away this pain inside of me. I have been hurting for a long time. I need to learn to forgive. Not for his sake, but for my own.

I want to move on. I am going to have to pray about this. It is obvious that I can't do this alone. I need God.

girl with black rose

Reassurance from God

My family gathered together this morning for church. It was a special mother's day service. The pastor is an amazing pastor and his sermons never fail to inspire me. Today his sermon brought tears to my eyes. He was talking about God's plan for mothers to be there for their children and raise them at home. He told us a story of a little boy who had all the CDs he wanted, all the really fancy toys and brand new bike, but the little boy sadly whispered.. "all I want is my mother."

We went back for the evening service and the pastor preached about stepping out in faith. He told us to forget our bad pasts, to leave our current comfort zone and step out in faith. God's plan for us is far greater than what we have right now. It's on a totally different plane, but it requires faith. I knew that being a stay at home mother would take faith. It is risky and it is not possible for me to provide for all of our needs financially if I stayed at home.

But that's where God comes in. I could feel him telling me in my heart to trust in him. He will always provide for us. The world may label me a fool, but I believe in God. I will do God's will.

Tonight, Brady stayed up late while I took a shower. When I came back in the room, I exclaimed "what are you still doing up??" He reached out for me and I held him. He set his little head against my chest and squeezed me tight with his little arms while I rubbed his back and rocked him. He fell asleep in my arms. It was a beautiful moment. I quietly prayed and I told God that I got his message. Loud and clear.


Being a mother is like serendipity. I had a set mind on what I was going to do with my life when I was a teenager and being a mother was last on my list. However, God had other plans for me. I found out that being a mother was so wonderful and that my children mean more to me than anything I can imagine. Suddenly, all my desires and things I wanted for myself seemed so insignificant compared to how much I wanted the best for them. Becoming a mother transformed me forever. It was a beautiful miracle. I am SO blessed to have Landon and Brady! Yesterday, my mom asked me that if I had the chance to go back in time and change the choices I made, would I take it? Never. We both smiled knowingly.

Happy Mother's Day to ALL the Moms Out there!!

To the Freethinkers.

I have a friend from school that I was eating lunch with yesterday. I admire her and she makes me laugh. Yesterday she started talking about religion. She is a proud "freethinker" and was frusturated when her close friend "found religion." I couldn't help but smile at that phrase. She said her friend was far too eager to share a bible story with her and kept sharing what the pastor said about it. She told me that it seemed that her friend had no independent mind of her own. I guess that is the way the world may see it because Christians don't seem to be analying things or questioning everything.

I kept thinking about that while I was in bed last night. I wished I had the right things to say. I was listening to her but couldn't come up with the perfect answer. That frusturated me.

I started to realize why we seem "mindless" to the world. It is not the lack of mind that really is so. It is because we have truth. We no longer need to seek any further for it, nor question things and analyze everything. Why should we when the answer to everything is right in front of us? God is truth and he gave us the answer to everything in our Bible.

I know what the meaning to life is. I know what happens after we die. I know what God has planned for the future of the world. I know he was there before all of this came to be. With every little thing that we seek, God gives us what we need. Therefore, that is what differs us from the "freethinkers." We found the answer and they haven't yet.

The answer does not rest in memorizing Socrates or Aristole. These are empty words of lost men. The Bible says, "Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ." Colossians 2:8-9. Where are these men now? They will only join the rest of us when facing Jesus Christ on judgement day.

I don't think freethinkers are free because it is truth that sets you free. Those who have found the truth in God are the ones that are truly free.


Like a Lady*

I have this new desire to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I want to dress the part too. I decided that I will wear dresses more often and skirts as well. It is so feminine to wear those things. It also makes us carry ourselves differently and feel special. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a denim jean girl but it's exciting to make a change. The only drag is that I'll have to shave my legs. ;)

Waiting For My King

I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior when I was ten years old. I can remember the moment and the awe I felt as God entered my heart and my life. But, I realize now.. thirteen years later.. that there is SO much more than just getting saved. We can actually grow. We can actually glorify God and see his power moving through the Earth. Suddenly, when we realize that the bigger picture is ABOUT GOD and not of ourselves.. then our problems and worries seem so petty and small. It's like staring at a grain of dirt and obsessing over it. When we step back and keep going, we'll see that the grain of dirt is a part of a mountain. Suddenly, that little grain is so insignificant and we realize that we have just wasted our lives worrying about that little dirt. That's how I feel.

I see people everywhere that don't grasp that just yet. Christians in society are still living in the world and they are missing all of this. So many of them say that the Bible is just figuratively written and outdated. The Bible is the actual, living word of God! God continues to speak to us to this very day and this book is a personal letter given to us from God himself! How amazing is that! And don't you think that God knew the exact moment when he would arrive and rapture his church? He would have known what needed to be said to last us to that day. It is not outdated. God is like a Hershey bar. He never changes. Our society, our cultures and traditions may change in this world, but God never ever does. In the Bible, it says that his word will last even after everything passes away ("Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away." Luke 21:33)

I can't believe how many "COEXIST" bumper stickers are out there. My goodness people! There is ONE true God and there is no other god next to him. If you studied religion, you would know that none of their gods even resemble GOD and who he is. My school teaches that Christians are closed minded fundamentalists. Yeah! The Bible says narrow is the way to heaven and wide is the gate to hell, ("Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Matthew 7:13-14)

I have actually sat through my classes and I have been blown away by how they teach about tolerance and understanding in all religions and ideals, but never fail to bash Christianity. Christians are excluded from this privelege, but I am always reminded of this verse, ("If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." John 15:18) Jesus Christ has warned us in advance that we will be hated by the world and suffer for his sake because the world hated him first. But how great is the reward of the faithful!! For it is better to suffer for good and not of evil things.

Wake up! The Lord is coming very quickly! Everything is falling in place according to plan and hundreds of prophencies have already passed! Be ready!

"But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is. For the Son of Man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.

Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning: Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.

And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch." Mark 13:32-37

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