I cried all morning. I feel like the dam broke. I just realized that I am the one that has been pretending that nothing has happend. I didn't want to feel the pain. I thought if I ignored it, then it would go away, but it didn't. I never forgave him all this time. I said I did, but I really didn't. I have been so angry and hurt all this time. I buried my feelings inside and I didn't allow myself to cry during this entire divorce! I finally did for the first time today. I was cleaning the house and talking to God, and then God pushed my heart and the dam broke. It's good to cry. I am finally letting it all out. I want him to know, wherever he is, that I forgive him.